Party Pills and Menopause

As the confetti settles from our New Year's celebrations, we find ourselves reflecting on the shared journey of human quirks and the rollercoaster ride of menopause. This episode is like that unexpected phone call from an old friend—comforting, enlightening, and sure to leave you with a grin. We unravel the tapestry of perimenopause, from the taboo surrounding hormone therapy to the static cling that zaps us when we least expect it. With a dash of humor and a sprinkle of solidarity, we're opening up about the personal challenges and societal expectations that accompany this transformative time in a woman's life.

Gather 'round as we reminisce about college days past and the profound changes that shape our dreams and identities. It’s a stroll down memory lane, dusting off those old yearbooks of the soul, as we contemplate the evolution of our younger selves into the people we are today. Our narrative meanders through the philosophical currents of the Tao, inviting you to rediscover the aspirations that once set your heart ablaze. This episode is not just a trip back in time; it's about harnessing the wisdom of change to foster growth in the here and now.

Concluding with a heart-to-heart on the delicate dance between our soul and ego, we ponder the essence of what makes us tick. There's a little bit of cosmic comedy, too, as we navigate life's "beaver dams" and the tangled messes we find ourselves in—like headphone wires that conspire to trip us up. So, grab your favorite mug of something warm, and join us for an episode that promises to be as comforting as your go-to winter sweater, all while we chart a course through the wilderness of being wonderfully, messily human on the Kat and Moose Podcast.

Chapters

• 0:04 Menopause and Human Quirks
• 7:06 Perimenopause
• 12:25 Navigating Menopause Challenges and Support
• 16:40 Hormone Therapy and Static Electricity
• 32:05 Reflecting on College Years and Change
• 37:20 Soul's Relationship With the Ego
• 48:06 Symbolism and Survival

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:04

Welcome to the Cat and Moose podcast.

Speaker 2 0:06

I'm Kat and I'm Moose, this is the True Life podcast, where we explore the quirks of being human.

Speaker 1 0:12

Okay, Well, happy new year, Moose.

Speaker 2 0:21

Hey Kat, happy new year, holy shit. Happy new year and holy shit, yes, yeah man.

Speaker 1 0:29

So. So a friend of mine went to see her family for the Christmas holidays and asked me if I had any Xanax that she could borrow. Just borrow.

Speaker 1 0:39

Like she's going to give it back, just borrow, like just in case I need it, type thing. And so I put a few of them in, a little like medicines and black baggy thing that I have, and I just wrote holy shit on the outside and I said, if you feel this way at all in your body while you're gone, please utilize this disease. And we have laughed about it so many times, about how it's like things just feel like holy shit. So is that legal, kat? Oh it, completely not. I'm sure I've just lost every license and credential that I have. Could we unedit all of that, sarah?

Speaker 2 1:14

No, no. Also, I see that as sort of like subletting your apartment you know what I mean Like I have to admit that there have been times where I haven't gotten my life. I've been sexapro filled and I may have dabbled in Sarah's so, but we don't condone this, guys. We're not encouraging you to bring pills to a party and put them in a hat and choose them. We're not, do we're not encouraging that? Nope, not at all.

Speaker 2 1:43

I didn't know you had Xanax to share. Can I borrow one? Give out your number for anyone that needs it, even after the holidays ią.

Speaker 3 1:58

No.

Speaker 2 2:02

I love you guys. I'm gonna pay $6. That's me to get one. We got paid aJAITI Sounds �er, it's like six tomatoes and it's going to be our family business. So take that job. Let me tell you also there are videos down there, are they not? Yeah, I do have anything to publish, so I just, if you're sort of in, yeah, the freaking.

Speaker 1 2:26

I love that you're laughing about it. Is that kind of one of those like I'm going to laugh, or?

Speaker 2 2:31

else I'll cry yeah in spite of yes. I mean, I got on here. I was like I feel like I need some drugs. Yeah, I don't have the juice. Hang on. I got to open my window because I'm having a hot flush talking about that.

Speaker 1 2:45

Oh yeah, that's a topic, actually that one of our friends and listeners has asked us to tackle right now or in the future is the topic of menopause.

Speaker 2 2:56

Oh yeah, so pre and Perry and Post and all the things.

Speaker 1 3:01

Yeah, yeah, and so that was a really great segue, moose, thank you.

Speaker 2 3:05

You're welcome. Yeah, our friend Jen Rodin, jen DePauloff, from the great state of Minnesota now wrote in and encouraged us to talk about Perry, menopause and all the weird shit that happens to our body as our we start shutting down before death.

Speaker 3 3:21

Yeah, or for death in order to die.

Speaker 1 3:25

In order to die. Yeah, this is our body's preparation for death, it's our burial preparation. Yes, no wonder nobody tells us about it. Like that's the biggest thing I want to say about this. You know, midlife crisis and, oh my gosh, and the forties and midlife and everything, and I feel like nobody older than me has sat me down and said cat, there is impending doom that is going to come upon you Upon and it is going to mess with every system of your body. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 4:07

I mean, that's about all I want to say about it. Jen, you want to hear our thoughts. Let me tell you about it. It's awful.

Speaker 3 4:14

Please do.

Speaker 2 4:15

Also well, and I think it is worth talking about, and there's lots of information out there that you have to sift through. But it is a whole thing, including mood and weight changes and sleep problems and all those things. But on top of that, you know God forbid that you have bleeding insides and you have to have all of your insides removed and then you're just straight in menopause, like the child that you, my inner child that you always describe, where she's just crying and bleeding from the eyes. Yeah, I think she's inside of me bleeding.

Speaker 1 4:55

And so, therefore, they're like oh, you don't have any blood left.

Speaker 2 4:59

You're just bone dry in there and I was like, oh well, what do we do? And they're like take it all out, and then you just have menopause, which is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, Just short of the hacking incident.

Speaker 1 5:15

Well, and I would like to say, just short of hacking and just short of menopause, one of the traumas that a person can endure in life is when someone defines for them what their inner child looks like. Oh yeah, that is trauma in itself, god Right, and I think that we need professional help to undo that.

Speaker 2 5:37

Well, no, I don't, I don't. I feel like you know me well enough to know what she looks like. I actually let me check in. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're right on that one. She's like this goth little eight year old that's like has one of those switchblade combs.

Speaker 1 5:56

You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 5:57

Like isn't allowed to really have a knife yet, but yeah, she's bleeding from the eyes. I was at this. I was at this I almost said I was at this house last night, but I was at this house with new friends, which is shocking in itself that I love the house, but with some new friends that we've met and I don't know what I was gonna tell you about that. What was I gonna tell you? Not?

Speaker 1 6:22

sure how do you make new friends? Yeah, good question.

Speaker 2 6:25

We were talking about different enneagram types. I don't know. I only made these friends through my one other friend besides you, so I don't have an answer for that, However. So we were talking about enneagram types and I was trying to explain it in enneagram eight and I talked about my own hypervigilance and I just, you know new friends you forget, Like maybe you should let them lean into your dark humor a little bit before you just drop it.

Perimenopause

Speaker 2 6:54

I was like yeah, I was like explaining it and you know, as an enneagram eight, everything's a bullet point. There's never like a long answer. So I think my answer was yeah, I have a lot of hypervigilance. I had a super chaotic childhood so I don't remember much. So you know, I'm just looking for everything that comes around the corner to attack me, and they were all like, oh, that's interesting. And then I was like this is why I don't go out.

Speaker 1 7:22

And is that all they said? They just said, it's that's interesting.

Speaker 2 7:26

No, no, no, they were kind and wanted to know more. And then I just threw out words like schizophrenic brother, and you know I don't want to go into it. I just. It's like deflections, like pow, pow, pow. You know, like connection for me, I have a shield for connection. It's like, oh, you're trying to connect with me, oh, I just I just got it away. So you know, I just ran from connection.

Speaker 1 7:50

Isn't that how you make friends? It sounds like. How's that going for you, moose?

Speaker 2 7:56

I mean, they didn't kick me out, so I felt like it was strong.

Speaker 1 7:59

That's fantastic. That's great. I'm excited for your new friends to have you as a friend, like lucky them. That's awesome, I know, I agree.

Speaker 2 8:07

So back to Perimenopause Just for a moment. If you're a guy, definitely keep listening, because you need to learn what we go through. I feel like that should be part of your penance, all right, so Perimenopause. You've got hot flashes and night sweats, you have vaginal dryness, you have uterine bleeding problems, you have sleep disturbances, mood symptoms and other problems.

Speaker 1 8:31

I would like to say that I only have a couple of those.

Speaker 2 8:35

Oh, that's good. Which do you have the uterine bleeding?

Speaker 3 8:40

Or the vaginal dryness.

Speaker 1 8:42

Or the vaginal dryness. No, just like the mood stuff, the mood stuff in the body feeling weird, yeah, Like. I saw someone post on Facebook the other day something along the lines of like I have now entered into that phase in life that no one told me about, called Perimenopause, where everything feels like I'm going to die. Oh, yeah, and that's the thing that I'm like. Why do our elders not educate us better about this? Because it's like you are going to think you need to go to the hospital or call an ambulance.

Speaker 2 9:23

And it's.

Speaker 1 9:24

OK, you actually don't.

Speaker 2 9:26

Actually I do.

Speaker 1 9:28

I do.

Speaker 2 9:29

I really do in my own way. I'm like you better just check everything real quick. Do you have an EKG on board? Because that's what I need. I mean, it does feel like that. It does. Yeah, okay, so let's break down your questions. First question why hasn't anyone told us Because I think we're the first generation to go what the fuck is going on with my body.

Speaker 2 9:50

Yeah, exactly, and that's so sad. Think about it. Our moms had so many other issues. They were just like trudging through and not their issues. Just like concerns is what I mean. So I feel like we're the first generation to go like can I and maybe social media helps can I raise my hand and ask what the hell here is going on? I apologize for all the cussing. I blame it on the hacker. By the way, I'm not normally a cusser, but yes, it feels like you have a full mood disorder. I said to my therapist the other day. I said I realized you're a therapist and not a psychiatrist, and that's always a way to really get them to lean in. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 10:33

Yeah, y'all's gonna say how did that go? Let me tell you the credentials. You don't have to help me.

Speaker 2 10:40

No, I guess my point was I followed it up with do you think I have a mood disorder? Am I bipolar? Because it feels that way. It feels like you're going mad. What did she say? No, she didn't think I did, which is great news.

Speaker 1 10:57

It is good news.

Speaker 2 10:59

But also kind of boring, because I love investigating myself so I like a label to smack on it so I can go read and be like, yes, I have that symptom and yes, See, here's the thing is.

Speaker 1 11:13

I have read a ton about it and nothing has felt helpful to me. Like the information, all the symptoms you just listed. It's like how does that help me when I, literally in my body, feel like I'm about to lose touch with life itself? Yeah, like, how does? Like I'm not worried about the level of moisture in my downtown area at that moment oh my gosh, you know, like, that's not what I'm focused on, like I am in, like are we going to live or die mode?

Speaker 1 11:50

And it's like a really, really terrible way to feel.

Navigating Menopause Challenges and Support

Speaker 2 11:54

Well, I can tell you, like all these I don't know if you've seen this Instagram thing, but all these like female celebrities I think June Barry Moore is one of them got together and created this company specifically focused on Perry Menopause. Really, yeah, I forget the name of it, but we can look it up and find out what that is. It's called Ever Now. Ever Now is the name of that company, and then I saw Oprah did an entire series on Perry Menopause and all of that. The interesting part is I find that it's a lot of this is what happens, but I don't I'm with you. I don't find a lot of here's what to do about it.

Speaker 3 12:36

Yeah.

Speaker 2 12:37

It's like oh, you feel like you're dying. Oh, my God, do you want to call an ambulance? You are, like I said the other day, I'm like lonely one moment and the next moment like get away from me, I just want to be alone. And then, like three seconds later, I'm like where did everyone go?

Speaker 1 12:54

And they're like dead on the ground.

Speaker 2 12:56

But they're yeah, but yeah, I'm with you. What do we do?

Speaker 1 13:01

Yeah, what do we do? Like I went to this website over the holidays and I found that there's a place here in Nashville that specifically deals with menopause Perry Menopause, like all of this and they were like, send us a note, we'll be back in touch with you. And so I sent them a note and I was like, hey, here is my entire life story as it relates to my female reproductive system and what is going on with me. Can you help me? And nothing, nothing, nothing. They haven't written back. Really, they haven't even written back. And so I'm like, man, it's just really hard now to know that there are people out there who have created an entire organization around this subject and I just didn't know it. And I'm like I want to apologize and say thank you to our predecessors and our friends older than us for creating something to potentially help us with this. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 14:01

In my, in my what's the word Experience, in my experience, but also in my investigation, I, via Google, I learned what the recommended amount of drinking, the amount of alcohol per day is recommended.

Speaker 1 14:19

Oh, okay, you guys like to know that yeah. I would love to know but yeah. Okay, I mean, I'd like to know if, if, if I can increase.

Speaker 2 14:27

Yeah right, I'm not sure about that, but moderate alcohol use for healthy adults generally means up to one drink per day for women and up to two drinks per day for men. That just pisses me off.

Speaker 1 14:42

Yeah, you know what that's patriarchal information.

Speaker 2 14:46

It's patriarchal information from the Mayo Clinic. So that means one beer 12 fluid ounces is all you should be drinking at most per day, or one glass of wine, five fluid ounces, if you would like distilled spirits otherwise known as liquor. That would be 1.5, which is about a shot and a half. So yeah, for those of you who are deciding to have a dry January, cheers and those who aren't sorry to give you that news.

Speaker 1 15:21

Well, jen, just to answer your question, we also have no help to offer you whatsoever and we can just commiserate about it. And I think we will continue to commiserate about it. For me, when, when I get that feeling in my body of like the hot flashes coming on, it feels to me like a bit of a. It's almost like a spiritual experience. It's like kind of a tingly, like oh, is this going to feel like really nice in my toes and my legs and my arms and all of that. And then I'm like oh, no, it's that. And then comes like the subsonic, supersonic wave of dread that feels like this is a heart attack or a stroke or something Like I'm dying right now.

Speaker 1 16:10

Yes, like right now death is impending and and I'm just sorry, Jen, and all of our other friends out there that might be going through this it is a really, really challenging way for the body to feel, and I bet that in all of our studies, of all the things that we've all been studying, we can probably find some ways to support each other during para and menopause. So I'm going to make this a continuing ongoing conversation and study.

Speaker 2 16:40

Did I tell you that my doctor um, he was talking about hormone therapy and all of that. And, for those who don't know, you get tested and then they give you a little estrogen, a little bit of testosterone. But my, my doctor said the following statement, and I don't want to be held accountable for this. If anyone that um is shocked by this, this is a quote from my doctor. I said how does that testosterone work, may I ask? And she said yeah, it comes in a little tube.

Speaker 2 17:09

You can click one, two or three on how much you want to actually put on your body. And it's like a lotion. Okay, so I'm guessing, since it's testosterone, I should probably just click one. And she said, yeah, I would start with one. I said okay, and she said I will warn you, if you do multiple three clicks, your clitoris will enlarge and you will grow hair all over your body. And I just sat there looking at her like I was stuck on the first part of it and just staring and going like, oh, wow, what is that Like? How big, how big is it going to get?

Speaker 3 17:51

How big are we talking here?

Speaker 2 17:55

You know I wanted to Google it, but I also didn't want that in my Google.

Speaker 1 17:59

Right, I didn't, but now that you've been hacked, maybe you should, maybe I should at this point.

Speaker 2 18:06

So anyway, just a little tidbit. If anyone wants to increase their size, testosterone is the way.

Speaker 1 18:14

Thank you, thank you. This leads me to we are medical podcast. Yes, yes, we are. This leads me to a quote from Napoleon dynamite, or actual Napoleon, actual Napoleon. He said never interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake.

Speaker 3 18:34

Oh, amen to that.

Speaker 2 18:35

What was the stake?

Speaker 1 18:38

Well, I'm saying like if you click three times, oh yeah, and you know, I mean that may or may not be a mistake. I don't know, and you're not my enemy. So it really is a terrible segue in transition that I just made, but I was trying.

Speaker 2 18:51

Well, you were trying, and it doesn't matter where you're going to go, because I'm going to keep us right here. Here's my thing about warnings like that I think they should put. You know, you know how all the prescription ones on the commercials would be like and the following side effects could happen You're going to die, you are going to have a rash in between your legs, like I feel like that they should. I feel like they should put that warning that she shared with me on that testosterone compound.

Speaker 2 19:19

Yeah, and just say, like you know, like they do in the UK with cigarettes, you know it has like a child and their lungs and it's like if you smoke this, you're killing everyone and you're like I don't smoke these.

Speaker 1 19:29

Yeah, Exactly, that is very. That's very UK, very European. Have you read the warning label? Does it?

Speaker 2 19:37

does it say no, but I am going to Google. I mean, it's for the podcast, so let's type in testosterone Swollen, what's the word?

Speaker 3 19:50

Swollen enlarged. Oh my gosh Enlarge.

Speaker 2 19:56

Oh, there's a lot of oh. It says prostate, spleen, nipples, liver, thyroid prostate, apparently pretty much the whole body.

Speaker 1 20:05

It enlarges your entire. Test, tostra, enlarges your entire body? I guess so, but I don't want any. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. This is when in in. This is OK, mom, if this is what happens, but this is when I think my mom goes. You know, I don't want to listen to the podcast anymore. I want to turn on Christmas music.

Speaker 2 20:21

Well, that's fine. Yeah, it's fine mom, we all have moments when it gets too intense. You know I turn off. I turn off date line every once in a while. Yeah, doesn't mean it's not good content, yeah.

Speaker 1 20:35

And the thing that we just read you've kind of already shared, so basically, I think we don't need to talk about it anymore. We can just say that that your doctor's warning was, according to Google, a legitimate warning.

Speaker 2 20:47

Correct. I also don't understand why the private areas are so faux pas.

Speaker 3 20:53

Right.

Speaker 2 20:54

Like that is a social issue, like it's just a part of our body. If I had an enlarged elbow, you would tell me about it.

Speaker 1 21:01

Well, I would be able to see it OK that doesn't work.

Speaker 2 21:04

Yeah, good point, ok, moving on OK.

Speaker 1 21:12

Since we are a medical podcast, I think that also qualifies us as a science podcast. Is that right, correct, ok? Well, someone asked me the other day, to which I did not know the answer to this question why is it that we experience static electricity so much in the winter? Do you guys have any issues with static electricity?

Speaker 3 21:32

Yeah, I have been noticing that lately. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 21:36

I don't know why, maybe because it's more dry. Speaking of dryness, oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 21:42

How did you notice it, sarah? I've just noticed and maybe it's just that my clothes haven't. I don't know. We use all the same things to wash and dry our clothes, but lately I've just even just folding my clothes. There's just been a ton of static electricity and when I get up and down from the couch I feel like my pants are just like stuck to me and it's very strange, yeah. So what is it about?

Speaker 1 22:05

It is strange, isn't it? It is, and that's why I was curious what your experience was, because I've zapped myself on a couple of doorknobs and you know, I went to kiss my dog the other day, on her nose, and we had a little electric spark between us and I felt like it was very traumatizing to her because I was trying to show her love and I think she was anticipating love, and then she got, you know, right, anyway. So I did what I do, as Professor Kat sometimes does I went and did a deep dive and got stuck in a very deep rabbit hole of why static electricity happens more in the winter than it does in other months. And first of all, what I learned is that static electricity is basically when two different things, let's just say two different materials one's a doorknob and one's my hand have got such an imbalance of electrical charges that a spark is created, energy is created to try and balance that imbalance. You know, the electrons, the protons are just out of balance and so it gets everything back into balance.

Speaker 1 23:16

So much like we've talked about nature is beautiful, like nature is going to do everything it can to create balance and the reason that we experience more static electricity in the winter than we do in the summer is because of humidity. So you're exactly right. Oh, wow, it is because water humidity, is a great conductor of electricity. So in the summertime, if there's an imbalance in charges between my hand and the doorknob, there's so much humidity in the air that that charge gets balanced or dissipated without any of us noticing, because water is a great conductor of electricity, water being humidity, and in the wintertime it's a lot more dry. So it just makes sense that those, those imbalance charges are trying to rebalance and they don't have the humidity in the air to work through that they normally do. So I felt that was kind of neat.

Speaker 2 24:13

It is really neat. Thank you, I miss.

Speaker 1 24:15

Professor Kat, thank you, I know.

Speaker 2 24:18

She came back dormant into 2024.

Speaker 3 24:20

Welcome back, Professor Kat.

Speaker 1 24:22

Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2 24:24

So I have a question about life, and this electricity ties into it. So my question is at what point do you know that you should surrender or keep going? I was talking to my friend Megan about this this weekend and I took a drive to my alma mater, murray State University in Murray, kentucky.

Speaker 3 24:52

That's right, sorry, I went to school the old gray horsey, hey what she used to be. It's the old gray mare hey what she used to be Old gray mare.

Speaker 2 25:00

Old gray mare.

Speaker 3 25:02

She ain't what she used to be. Ain't what she used to be. Ain't what she used to be. Ain't what she used to be?

Speaker 1 25:11

Is that your? Is that the your college's song?

Speaker 2 25:15

Yeah, sir, butchering it right now, but hey, hey.

Speaker 3 25:18

I only learned it this weekend.

Speaker 2 25:21

Anyway, I was there and I was like I was taking a walk and inspired by my 20 something year old self that was on that campus and like all of the hopes and dreams, I mean, it's very emotional for me.

Speaker 2 25:34

I will say that, like I was, I felt like the breath was taken out of my chest a few times because I was thinking about, like, that kid, who was less broken than this kid, is today Right.

Speaker 2 25:48

And anyway I was like okay.

Speaker 2 25:50

So I looked at Sarah and I just said, all right, so if I'm really in the flow, if I'm in the river and not holding on to every branch that goes by or grabbing at it, and I'm just like, all right, legs up, just letting it roll, then does that look like when you've been hacked and part of the hacking has been losing all of my company's websites which I know you did as well, kat and like having to start over in some ways, barely doing that, but one of those being, you know a store that I've spent a lot of, the e-commerce store, archie Montana, that I've spent a lot of time on, and Sarah has too. And I just said I was like okay, so does surrender look like going? All right, like you said, kat, the scorched earth thing of like I'll just start over, but bigger than that, could that be the universe saying this is over, this is over, this is over, and I'm actually removing it from your purview so that you can keep moving Like this is like, is that being in the flow?

Speaker 2 27:02

Or do I go hard and like you know which I? You really can't fight these people and you know and be like I'm going to rebuild and I'm going to go spend another 300 hours building this website and this company, like that is my question. What do you guys feel about that? Like, how do you know when to keep going or persevering and when to go? This isn't working.

Speaker 1 27:28

Yeah, man, I mean, I feel like if there is a quote, unquote right answer to that question and if we are to discover it as part of this podcast that we're going to, we're going to like win the lottery. Yeah, you know, it's like it feels like it's a really, really great question and I don't know if there's a right answer. I know, I know what my experience has been.

Speaker 2 27:52

What is your experience? Well, not even with the hacking, but in general, like what is the trigger for you guys when you go? The season is over, whatever that season or whatever that the struggle is. You know, like, when do you go? Man, I gave it my damn dust and it's okay, but it's not here anymore, it's not meant for me anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 1 28:20

Sadly. Sadly, I have found that, while I do feel like I have really good intuition and I feel like I kind of can sense when it's like this thing is is about to shift, or this thing is about to change or this thing is about to just die, whatever it is, it still usually takes something pretty dramatic to shut it down.

Speaker 1 28:42

For me, even if everything inside of me is like, like you know, this season is over, this thing is done. And it's like I'm like, yeah, but yeah, but you know. And it's like I also feel like there's this really fine line between if I were to be any different than that. It's like I feel like I would not be doing enough, like I would not be efforting enough and I think there is some effort required. You know, it's like a friend of mine says all the time that like it's her goal to not effort, and I always kind of judge that and I go like, but why like? Why would you not at least try, like, why would you not do the thing? And I wondered the other day and I need to ask her this I wonder if what she meant is what you're talking about. Is it just letting oneself flow in the river and that's the only efforting? That I don't know. It's a very, very hard question, sarah. What do you think?

Speaker 3 29:45

I mean honestly, like I have been trying to figure it out too, and I don't know that there is a figuring it out. I think it's what we've been saying all along. It just is. And how do we accept that? I don't like that. But wait, moose, you were talking about this the other day. Let me see if I could try to remember. We were talking about our perception of reality. I think it factors into our emotion and how we feel, more than the actual thing. I know what you're talking about, so, yeah, maybe you could say it better.

Speaker 2 30:19

Well, I was referring to Byron Katie's work, yeah, and this idea of like I'm not going to get it right probably, but her philosophy is basically that as long as you can come to terms with reality and face reality, all the feelings and emotions and all of that are often the story we create around that reality. And kind of the way out is just to look at reality, try and pull back your emotions, create perspective, all the things we talk about. But I've seen her. If you don't know Byron Katie's work, it's really incredible.

Reflecting on College Years and Change

Speaker 2 31:01

I've seen her on a Zoom, walk people through a big situation like an issue between a daughter-in-law and a mother-in-law or something like that. And it's a legitimate thing somebody is wound up about and she can just separate the emotion from them, help them separate the emotion and just go OK. But what is really happening it's our reaction often to other people's emotions and all these different things. So that's very hard to pull that out. But I think it is a healthy thing just to look at something and go is this really against me or is it? And there are plenty of things that I think are legitimate. But yeah, sometimes I'm like if I just saw reality for what it is. I think I would say to myself we're done here, we're done here, let's pack it up, let's pack another bag and go somewhere else. But I think it's also we have identity caught up in so much. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 32:05

Well, and I think too that like and this goes back to at least my understanding of Taoist philosophy and the whole idea of yin yang or yin yang, depending on how you pronounce it is that sometimes I don't think that it's just life or death. It's not like the season is over, pack your bags and be done. It's like OK, well, what if the season is about to change? Like what if it's fall moving into winter? What if it's winter moving into spring? What if it's spring? Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 32:37

You know like that whole and I read another quote this morning from DaVinci that said nature never breaks her own laws. Oh, wow, and it kind of reminded me of that. Like the seasons are just happening, like we don't get to really choose, and maybe that is in the flow and so maybe it's like it's like just going OK, like I'm going to be more and more willing to adapt to the seasons, to adapt to my reality. I don't know it's very, very, very poignant life question moves.

Speaker 2 33:10

If listeners could please give us free therapy. Help us. Don't have any email address or phone number. We don't have any money. We don't have any money, so don't hack us.

Speaker 1 33:21

I'm not as Annex, I gave it all away.

Speaker 2 33:26

Please send us good vibes and answers to all of our questions. Yeah, that would be great, yeah.

Speaker 1 33:32

So I would like to pose a life question now, Moose, since you have taken us on this Fibonacci spiral of doom and hell.

Speaker 2 33:40

I.

Speaker 1 33:40

I. The first question that I have, though, before I ask this question, is what was your motivation for going to your old Alma mater?

Speaker 2 33:50

Hmm, great question. Um, I needed to get the hell out of Nashville for a minute and I was dealing with all of this hacking stuff and I don't know. It just popped in my head to go back and to walk the campus and it was cold and all that. But like it was special, like I called my roommate from college who is one of my closest friends, megan, and I felt like she, like she had the breath taken out of her too. I didn't tell her I was going and I just like turned on FaceTime.

Speaker 2 34:24

It was like some of the best years of our lives, you know, and I was telling Sarah, who didn't have a chance to go into college but didn't have a chance to have like the on campus experience, and like I was like I wish you could have had that, like it was totally. It was so wild Like I I didn't drink in college or any of that it was just like such an incredible time of my life to discover who I was and ask a lot of questions and felt safe and a safe environment to do all of that. So I don't know, I think it was like kind of my spirit calling me there, you know to, to kind of remember, if you will.

Speaker 1 35:05

It feels very in the flow and very in the river. That you responded to that, yeah, that's really wonderful.

Speaker 2 35:11

It was really special to me and and you know I hadn't been back in like 15 years, even though it's only about two and a half hour drive from where I live now. But yeah, it was. It was good to remember and very emotional too to be like, oh man, like I used to be more this way and I'm less that way now. Does that, is that bad or is that just different? You know what I mean. And to kind of work through some of those questions how did that go.

Speaker 2 35:42

Um, I think what I walked away with on that trip was, um, like I want to have that kind of confidence number one that I had back then, but also number two I want to. Um, I want to believe. Like I kept remembering all my dreams, you know, like I stood outside of the fine arts building and I was like I spent so much time here doing radio and television and script writing and all these things and I wanted so badly to be a documentary maker, like that was my whole thing, and I just stood there going like I can still make a documentary. And that may not still be my dream, but you know, just because my uterus is bleeding doesn't mean mine doesn't live inside of me anymore.

Speaker 1 36:35

Um, it's still out there bleeding somewhere.

Speaker 2 36:38

I guess the moral of the story is I'm not dead yet is really what I want to live.

Speaker 1 36:45

That is something that I, for one, can say that I'm really glad about. I'm really really glad you're not dead yet.

Speaker 2 36:51

Oh my God, the EKG machine still beeping, beep, beep, beep.

Speaker 1 36:56

It's still got a nice and steady pulse. Yeah, it does. Well, I love that you did that and I love that it sounds like it was a really great experience and an emotional experience and one that, like, helped you kind of touch base with part of you that that you've been searching for. That's really, that's really cool.

Speaker 2 37:14

Yeah, it was really cool.

Soul's Relationship With the Ego

Speaker 1 37:16

Um, but you didn't ask me the question, yeah, the, the, the live question. And and this is more of just like, I would like for you to pontificate on this phrase you can either be a host to God or a hostage to your ego. I love it, I love it. I'm going to sit with it for a minute.

Speaker 2 37:55

Um, I guess something I want to say about that is and we talk about this all the time on the podcast, but I think it's important to emphasize that um, I think our souls are holy. Um, sarah, do you remember that phrase that we shared yesterday? We were talking about, and it was about how our souls long for contentment and peace.

Speaker 3 38:27

Hmm, it was a card I pulled from the Sarah sidleman cards, but I don't have it in front of me right now.

Speaker 2 38:36

Don't worry about it. The whole idea was that, even when we can't get along with others, we have to remember that everyone's soul longs for companionship and love and peace and all the things that you know like. And it's our ego on top of that that makes us all the crazy. Um, but to to that quote that you said, kat. I think I've been thinking about this. I think our souls are actually holy. It's our ego that does all the damage. And I would go even as far as to say like we don't give our souls enough credit, because I think they are divine. If God is inside of us, it's not like it's a little God sprinkled on our soul, it's like, no, that came from the source.

Speaker 1 39:19

You know yeah.

Speaker 2 39:21

And so how I try and separate ego from soul all the time. Like that's what I want to do, but is that my sole purpose, or is it just something I want to chase because it's my ego?

Speaker 1 39:36

Yeah, that's really, that's really profound. Sarah, how does it hit you?

Speaker 3 39:41

I mentioned those Sarah sidleman cards and we do this all the time where we'll pick three and then just see what message it gives. But one of mine had to do with that and it was talking about caring for others and how we all meet at the soul level. And at the soul level, every one of us wants love and belonging. You know, just like, and it's like, oh my gosh, like, trying to think of that and how we treat people that annoy us or people that are whatever you know, the people in your life. We can all think of one or many, I'm sure, and I've been sitting with the thought a lot because it makes me think of, like I don't know, we all have siblings. So remember when you were kid and, let's just say, you were like mistreating your sibling and you thought no one was watching, but like then your mom was watching or something, and you're like, oh, I was, you know, and it's like I almost wonder if I started treating people as if God or whatever somebody's watching. Like would I want somebody to.

Speaker 3 40:44

You know, see me being rude or reacting, you know, it's just which is like a total, maybe a really simple practice, but also like super profound, because it's very hard to act on that. You know, our natural reaction is to be annoyed, to be perturbed, whatever, and that's probably because there's something in ourself that we don't like, that we see in them, mm, hmm.

Speaker 2 41:07

Mm, hmm, always, every single damn time, yeah, every time.

Speaker 3 41:11

I mean, that's really what it comes down to.

Speaker 2 41:13

I mean, every time my sister annoys me, it's because I do the exact same thing. Huh, and it's taken me eight million years to see that.

Speaker 1 41:26

My nephew, my oldest nephew. I have two, one is 12 and one is five. And the 12 year old Asked me he said Auntie, did my mom get on your nerves really bad when you guys and I like looked at him and I immediately thought of like three or four different scenes like from our childhood where my sister and I got Invites and but I also wanted to like really carefully answer his question, like I didn't just want to go yes, and that gives him carte blanche to be annoyed by his little brother. And then, you know right, the the war is over, you know. And so I said to him and I said, you know, I said there, there were times where your mom really, really annoyed me when we were growing up.

Speaker 1 42:11

And I said in one thing that I didn't really think about and I would be curious for you to think about this is how annoying was I to her? Yeah, growing up. And he just shook his head. He's like no, no, no, that's not what I mean. And I was like no, I know, it's not what you mean. You're trying to tell me your little brother's bugging you and you want that to be legitimized. It's legit, like siblings bug you, you know, and you probably bug him too. So, like, just hold that with a little bit of kindness and patience and love, because Even though you feel like you're the one being annoyed like you, you are also probably annoying, you know yeah, I feel like we need like a intro to earth Class when like about his age.

Speaker 1 43:01

Yes, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 43:02

Like when you start your brain starting to pick up on things, you're starting to go. Am I the only one experiencing this? We need like a soul class to go. All right, here's what's up. Y'all aren't from this earth. You are. You are divine spirits. However, all your family are Split personalities of you that you're gonna have to work through in order to learn, in order to Go to the next level or stay in heaven, or whatever it is you want. You chose to come here. So now this is your battle and you have choices.

Speaker 2 43:36

You know, I feel like that would be really helpful, because otherwise Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that like, oh, life is just happening to me and I don't have choices which sometimes it feels that way.

Speaker 1 43:49

Uh-huh, you know. Yeah, I kind of wonder if that class is called our bodies.

Speaker 2 43:53

Well, I think you're right, cat I do but who in the hell teaches? Us.

Speaker 1 44:00

Right, yeah, our body work therapists after we're in our late 40s and need to spend the rest of our life Unlearning everything we've done wrong.

Speaker 2 44:10

I know and we're dry down there and everything. I mean I don't have that problem, but I read it.

Speaker 1 44:17

Yeah, it was definitely a Google problem.

Speaker 2 44:20

Yeah, and we need like an earth class, and you're right, like it's kind of like the map up Of how to get to all of the learning is is our body, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and we're afraid to touch it, and yet we are in it?

Speaker 1 44:37

Yeah, it is. So it is all around. Like you know, it's a very interesting, a very interesting little Diacotomy that's going on there. I'm curious, definitely.

Speaker 2 44:47

They say that you get to choose your like, your life, like your body. Actually, did you know that? Like the soul people? I don't, I don't.

Speaker 1 44:57

Yeah, I mean, I know you've told me that and I don't. It's not that I don't believe it. I am mad that I don't have recollection of making these choices, it's but maybe okay.

Speaker 2 45:10

But maybe your choices were like this beautiful body you have, or like, I don't know, maybe your day this was a really good choice and the whole point of you learning is to love what you have. Am I teaching a body worker? I think I think so good. That's the kind of podcast we are. We may be credentialed in things, but we have no idea how we got there.

Speaker 1 45:44

But the journey sure has some fun spots and we like to talk about it together.

Speaker 2 45:50

What else is going on, you guys?

Speaker 3 45:52

Nothing work started this week.

Speaker 1 45:55

Well, yeah, I think that's probably the. The biggest challenge for me is like reentry. I have really, in some ways, I've really enjoyed this holiday. I feel like the last major holiday is when I got hacked, the 4th of July. It was July 2nd when I got.

Speaker 1 46:13

Yeah and and and so I feel like, even though it's not happening to me right now, I still feel so much empathy and sympathy and hmm, and just Pain for you guys going through that, especially with the loss of the, the podcast website and the store website. You guys have worked so hard on Archie Montana and so I think like re-entering into like what does life look like now that I have to like Focus on things other than just caring about my friends and just being, you know, loving and wonderful and bringing in enough firewood for the fireplace each night. You know it's like now I've got to like be responsible and do things and be accountable to people and generate revenue and have hard conversations and, you know, really put my brain to the test, and so I'm having a little bit of hard time with reentry, if I'm being honest.

Speaker 2 47:11

Yeah, I am too. I heard Somebody at the gym this morning talking about getting back to work and they're like, yeah, I'm kind of ready, and I was like who are you and what do you do for a living?

Speaker 2 47:23

You know, because I'm into and it's not that I I do like the routine and all the things and I know that it is what it is. But yeah, I just feel a little bit overwhelmed walking into it. Yeah, but I'm just gonna trust it. I'm gonna stop grab and hold of the limbs on the side of the river and just let go nice nice.

Speaker 1 47:43

I like that and at the same time, is it like that you know that saying where? It's like I was caught in a flood and a boat came by and offered me a ride, and the helicopter came by and Offered me a lift and I died. And I said to God I'm so mad that I died, you didn't help me. And he's like yes, I did, I sent you a boat in the helicopter.

Speaker 2 48:02

I set a hacker your way and you didn't pay attention.

Symbolism and Survival

Speaker 1 48:05

Well, it's like. Are the limbs that, though? Like? Are the limbs like? Are they meant to be grasped aponts, or are they meant? Are we meant to just like the?

Speaker 2 48:15

problem is is I'm stuck in like a beaver dam and they're eating me alive. So this is less about Sarah just tied her headphone wire around her neck. Is that mean that we're done? I think that.

Speaker 1 48:32

I think that symbolism has done its job.

Speaker 2 48:37

We're gonna try not to get caught in the branches y'all. Hey, we can. We can still put this podcast out, and that's what matters. So thank you guys for all of your warm wishes and kindness and we hope you have a wonderful start to your new year. Happy new year we love you.

Speaker 3 48:52

Happy new year. Happy new year.

Speaker 1 49:04

Special thanks to our producer Sarah.

Speaker 2 49:06

Reed. To find out more, go to Kat and Moose podcastcom Kat and Moose is a BP production.