Kat and Moose Podcast
Kat and Moose Podcast is a true-life podcast exploring the quirks of being human. We bring hilarious anecdotes and thought-provoking discussions about spirituality, mental health, personal growth, bodywork, midlife, relationships, self-care, and more!
Join hosts Kat, Moose, and Producer Sara as they dive deep into various topics: spirituality, mental health, mid-life questions, relationships, bodywork, poetry, loving ourselves, and living our most authentic lives. We also sprinkle in some enneagram and five-element theory because why not? We work in the music industry in Nashville, which also gets dabbled in.
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Self-Improvement Comedy Podcast
Kat and Moose Podcast
Lent Lessons and a Furuncle
Dive into the latest episode of Kat and Moose, where we unravel the complexities of human experiences with humor and heart. This week, we introduce the whimsical idea of a "furuncle"—a medical term that encapsulates the quirks and embarrassments we all face. Through personal anecdotes, we explore how these experiences, while often awkward, serve as stepping stones for personal growth.
As we navigate through life's challenges, we pose the critical question: why do we struggle to speak up when faced with inappropriate or uncomfortable situations? The conversation delves into underlying fears, societal conditioning, and the power dynamics at play. Drawing from real-life experiences, we encourage listeners to rehearse ways to voice their thoughts confidently and embrace the awkward moments.
With spring around the corner, we highlight how this season often brings a desire for renewal and self-expression—an ideal time to challenge ourselves to assert our truths. By acknowledging our vulnerabilities, we take valuable steps toward self-acceptance and empowerment.
Join us as we share our hilarious mishaps and insightful reflections, proving that even in our most vulnerable moments, we're all navigating this wonderfully weird journey together. Subscribe, engage with us, and embrace your quirks!
Follow us on Instagram and Facebook! Support the show!
Welcome to the Cat and Moose podcast. I'm Cat.
Speaker 2:And I'm Moose. This is a true life podcast where we explore the quirks of being human. What?
Speaker 3:did you just say Sarah? I said I need a haircut because my hair looks like a wig.
Speaker 2:I mean that's kind of cool.
Speaker 3:to be honest, though, no one's disagreeing, so I know.
Speaker 1:I, I, I just I actually do completely disagree, because I think your hair looks great. I love when your hair gets big and wild, so I I kind of am like I'm just watching you like work out your own judgment about your hair.
Speaker 2:God don't? We all have a bunch?
Speaker 3:We were talking about that yesterday on a walk, how, like, we all deal with some form of it. Right, it's the thing that keeps us from leaving the house, the thing that the hill we have to climb over to get out and, like, go be in public and be seen, whatever that is for you, like, we all experience it and I just am here to tell you. Everyone else experiences that and they're not thinking what you think. They're thinking about it's 100% thinking about their own shit, yeah.
Speaker 2:I forget that. I think I'm the only one that has like stress. But she asked me to go for a walk yesterday and I said my answer is always no to anything. First in case you don't know that about me, I think I do that. Yeah, like the answer is no, and then I can be talked into things. But I said no, but I had a ellipses at the end of it. You know she could feel that and she was like why? And I said cause my pants are covered in dog hair. And she was like nobody is getting close enough to you.
Speaker 3:No, one, and when I?
Speaker 2:say covered, I mean covered and and I. So that wasn't an excuse and I said, plus, we're walking with two white dogs. Right, right, it's going to get on black pants, sorry. Anyway. I did it, I walked, and you know what I was better for it.
Speaker 3:Oh God, all right. Hey Kat, hey Moose, hey Sarah, hello friends, hello.
Speaker 2:Hello, welcome to the Kat and Moose podcast.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the Kat and Moose hardcast.
Speaker 2:Porncast, porncast.
Speaker 1:You know this one is. I know we always have the explicit little thing by our podcast which makes me think like, oh my gosh, I can't believe my mom and my sister listened to this.
Speaker 2:But then I'm like last week's episode was called slipping a pinky Right, right, right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So this. I'm just saying this week is really going to be a little bit more worthy of that explicit content badge and so I'm just giving everybody a heads up.
Speaker 2:Um, I just wow. I think we need to dive right in I'm very excited talk to us cat. Well, I'm wondering if either of you have ever experienced a fur, uncle, a fur uncle a fur uncle for uncle mean, I'm guessing that would be if my mom, if what is it? Is it a pet?
Speaker 1:from a relative. I'm curious this is the question I actually wanted to ask is when I say the word fur uncle, what do you think?
Speaker 2:I immediately go to furry. Do you know what furries are?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you go to like a furry, like fur baby.
Speaker 2:No, like a furry.
Speaker 1:A furry Okay.
Speaker 2:Like you, remember the people who dress in mascot outfits and they hook up. Oh, they meet each other at conventions. Wait, they hook up.
Speaker 1:I don't know anything about that.
Speaker 2:Yes, we've talked about it. This is the problem. We have.
Speaker 3:I have photos. I saw it in Australia. I immediately thought of a legitimately furry human. That's your uncle. Like yes, like a with a disease, like where they've got that syndrome, where they just grow hair everywhere Like an ape.
Speaker 2:That's what I pictured.
Speaker 1:A disease where they grow hair everywhere. That's called a human.
Speaker 3:It's probably not right to say disease. It's probably a syndrome or a thing.
Speaker 2:It's not quite a disease, it's a syndrome.
Speaker 1:It's a fur syndrome.
Speaker 3:Fur uncle syndrome Exactly, it's a fur syndrome. Fur uncle syndrome Exactly, it's a fur syndrome that your uncle has.
Speaker 2:I went to furry first and then I went to, like, if my sister had a dog, is that my uncle? Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Like I was trying to figure that out, but that got too complicated. If your sister's dog was, her dad.
Speaker 1:that would make him your uncle too complicated. If your sister's dog was her dad, that would make him your uncle, yeah that would make the dog my dad as well.
Speaker 2:So it's like a family tree thing. I don't know. Clearly, I don't know, I don't know. We obviously don't know.
Speaker 1:I'm curious for those of you listening and willing to send us an email at hello at cat and moose podcast dot com. I would be curious what your immediate thoughts were when I said do you know what a fur uncle is Like? I'm just really curious because I thought it was the strangest word for what this thing is. Middle english word um from latin for nucleus, literally meaning petty thief and also meaning knob on a vine, regarded as stealing the sap from the vine. So the thief is the petty thief from stealing the sap from the vine. Okay, that's got it. That's the origin of the word. The actual definition of the word is a painful pus filled bump that forms under your skin when bacteria infect and inflame one or more of your hair follicles.
Speaker 3:I have had this, it's a fur uncle.
Speaker 1:It's called a fur uncle, a fur uncle, so an ingrown hair.
Speaker 1:Yes, you have an ingrown hair. It is an infected ingrown hair. Yes, wow, and I told my this is where it's going to get fun. I was at the doctor today. I had a what I'm going to call an urgent doctor's appointment with my OBGYN. Oh shoot, and I have. I asked her, I know where this is going. I think she said she said how can I help you today? And I said well, dr, fill in the blank. I said I have a fur uncle on my vulva.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I mean that took me a second. Well, allow, oh my gosh, Kat Davis.
Speaker 1:And that that is the procedure that I just went through, like an hour and a half ago, patrons, you got your money, holy shit.
Speaker 2:Holy.
Speaker 3:McNally, wow In the sky.
Speaker 1:I think that this is what they call big T trauma.
Speaker 3:Oh my God For you and us now. Yes, thank you. Especially you but as a reverberated through us now and the listeners they haven't even seen it. Can you describe? Do you need to?
Speaker 2:No, because they know what it is.
Speaker 1:Everyone has had this before no, they know what it is. And I I asked my doctor, I said she goes, I don't know what that word is. And she goes. And I don't know where you found that word. And I'm like well, I looked up skin boil and medical term for skin boil and it came up fur uncle and I was like no, like that's not, that's not that.
Speaker 2:No, you said I have a thief on my vulva.
Speaker 1:I do I have a thief on my vulva.
Speaker 2:In other words, and I've never thought of my vulva as being something that anyone would want to steal.
Speaker 2:For uncle it is. Here's what's crazy. This week I was fed this on TikTok and I have the action. It's so weird that this happens to us. I have no idea you were going to share this. I'm going to read it. It says, when I tell my patients with boils in their armpits, breasts, buttocks or groin that this could be a chronic inflammatory condition known as hydrodentis superativa, Hypergenitis, that hormones and genetics play a role and you need to cleanse it with benzoyl peroxide or hyba cleanse. I've never heard of those things before.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so weird it is, guys clean your groins.
Speaker 2:Well, the thing is, is that like, or you're going to end up?
Speaker 3:like cat. Have you been cleaning? Oh, oh, I have a pimple behind my earlobe.
Speaker 2:Okay, guys, this is not who we are.
Speaker 3:Today and she said you didn't clean behind your ears. And I have never needed to clean behind my ears as much as I think I do now because I have a pimple behind my ear Guys.
Speaker 2:It's hormonal. This is not about cleaning your groins. I promise that was your groin.
Speaker 1:And the thing is is that, like the whole way home from the doctor's appointment, I just sobbed. I just sobbed. I hear that and I was like In pain, I don't even know. I mean obviously some kind of discomfort, yeah. And so I asked myself self why are you crying right now, without judgment, Like? It's okay that you're crying.
Speaker 1:Like why? What's going on? Like, why are you crying? And one of the things that I have learned about myself in this season of life is that I get really angry or really upset when I feel dumb or when I feel embarrassed. Yeah me too, and so I just thought how do I feel about this? And I feel embarrassed because I basically feel like my doctor said you don't wash your hooch, I think it's a cooch not a hooch, I know, I know.
Speaker 1:But for some people in my life they will think that's very funny, and so anyway and she never said that to me she never said you know, how is your hygiene, or anything like that.
Speaker 1:She was like oh, this is very common and I had to get shots. I had to get numbing shots, I had to get some, and then, like, when I left, it looked like there was a blood bath left behind. It was horrible. It was horrible. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry too, and I don't. Is this OK content? Yeah, it's OK, because I'm going to share.
Speaker 2:When something like this happened to me OK, get ready everyone. Similar situation, not on my labia majora or vulva, but on the inside of my upper thigh. I was camping in virginia beach and it was a boil and I was washing, just so everyone knows. I was still washing, but it got so. It got so bad that I had to call my doctor in Nashville and say I have no, I, but I felt the same embarrassment. I was like I have no idea what to do about this. I am in so much pain. Like mine was so painful where it was yes, and I she was like okay, like I want you to sit in a bath and like you know what I mean. Like oh yeah, epsom salt or whatever, which I know you hate baths, but I did, hey, I took a bath last night for like two hours like just running the hot water and like just going, like rise to the surface.
Speaker 1:You demon from the pit, yeah like burn it off yeah, burn it, burn it out, rise.
Speaker 2:Uncle Rise. So while we were camping I was like I'm going to get a hotel room just to like, even though I don't want to sit in a hotel bath normally. I didn't have that in the camper. And so I get a hotel room. I check in, I'm like, ok, at least I'll have some comfort by doing this. I get in there and those mofos put me in a shower only room. I go back down and they go.
Speaker 2:We don't have any rooms with bathtubs. Oh, my word and I was like okay, screw this, I'm not doing this.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Anyway, there's a thing called a sits bath have you heard of this, oh, yes. I didn't know what that was, and so it's basically one of those hats that you poop in when you get old and have to have your poop checked. Wow guys, it's like one of those. Then you put hot water in it, so I had to do that in the camper, but it was awful. Welcome to the cat and moose podcast. Yes, we talk about our boils.
Speaker 1:Yes, we talk about our baby and let me ask you moose, did it resolve on its?
Speaker 2:own. No, she called in an antibiotic. It was. It's that bacteria, bacteria it's called bacteria yeah, back, drum back drum.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's like a heavy within two days.
Speaker 2:It was like a million times better, but oh boy that is not fun.
Speaker 3:Listen, I'm sure we're not alone. I think we're just willing to talk about it, and I think a lot of people deal with this on various parts of their body sucks well, I and from what my doctor said, she's like this is very common.
Speaker 1:I see this all the time. This is no big deal and I'm like I'll tell you what a big deal is. Yes, listen to me I'm not gonna have you tell me that this is not a big deal, like I'm in so much discomfort and so much pain and so much like embarrassment and like I have to drive this way, I have to walk this way, like I have to function.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, like I'm so sorry and it's it's just one of those things that I was like. This is, if not anything else, hilarious like this is like yeah it's real life, baby. It is. It's real life and I would love to hear from all of our boil sufferers please write in please if you're listening going, this is disgusting.
Speaker 2:We agree, we know you're gonna get one in a week if you don't listen through that whole thing I think you're kind of casting spells.
Speaker 1:There moose are, are you a witch? A little voodoo.
Speaker 3:Hey, it is.
Speaker 1:Mardi.
Speaker 2:Gras, that's what I am now it is Mardi Gras. Oh yeah, well, they do like voodoo, they do In Louisiana.
Speaker 1:So Mardi Gras means that we're leading into Lent, which means that some people have a practice during Lent of giving something up. Are you one of those people? Well, I, my mom, said um, today. She said what she was giving up for Lent and it was kind of tongue in cheek and I'm not going to say it on the podcast just to protect her privacy. But I wrote back and I said I'm considering giving up, worrying. And she wrote back and she said.
Speaker 1:She said I hope we both last at least a day. So I don't know, I don't know if I'm planning on giving anything up. I thought about taking social media off of my phone, but I don't really look at social media very much anyway, yeah, Um, and so I? I really don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't pick something easy if you're going to actually go for it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's like the. The goal is not necessarily for it to be hard, as much as it is to say I am going to replace the time that I spend doing X, you know, social media, whatever it is with being contemplative and communing with the Lord. Like that's like what the whole idea of like giving up something for Lent is, and I want to commune more with the Lord, like I feel like I'm a very spiritual person and blah, blah, blah. So like I'm up for that, but I don't really know what my thing to let go of needs to be quite yet, and I've got about six hours to decide.
Speaker 2:Oh, it starts tomorrow. Oh, it starts tonight. Yeah, it starts tonight, oh, at midnight.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fat Tuesday, mardi Gras is the day before Ash Wednesday, that starts the beginning of Lent.
Speaker 3:Lord, I have never put all of that together, Me either but I did not know that either. But I was listening to some New Orleans music yesterday. I've got a great playlist to send y'all. It's so good.
Speaker 2:Maybe you could play us out with something.
Speaker 3:Okay, I have a question about this, because is this the same time of year that people who are doing Lent start or start eating more fish? Is there like I feel like that's a thing and like fast food restaurants suddenly are like our fish sandwich, our fish sandwich on Fridays, yeah, yeah, fridays are typically like Catholic fundraiser fish fries, because you're not supposed to eat meat, um, on Fridays during Lent.
Speaker 1:So there, I think there's four Fridays during Lent, it's the 40 days leading up to Easter, and and Jesus, from what the Bible says, fasted and prayed for 40 days, and so it's like well, he went without. So we mimic that in some way, so we go quote unquote, without meat, and I guess that means meat from like the land. I guess so, because in my Catholic tradition of growing up like, it was always like well, you can only have fish on Fridays, and I'm like or you could just be a vegetarian and not worry about it. That's no fun, I never knew that.
Speaker 2:I remember in school growing up that during Lent we always had fish on Fridays, but I never. I just was like what the hell? But now it makes a lot more sense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I'm here to. I'm here to educate you guys on all things Catholic, apparently.
Speaker 3:Bring it on. I just always saw it on like the fast food signs, like the fish sandwich, and I'm like they always pump the fish sandwich around this time of year.
Speaker 2:On Fridays man.
Speaker 3:You gotta get there on Friday. I never have it about that.
Speaker 2:Why is it on?
Speaker 1:Fridays, kat, I actually don't know. If I had to make an educated guess, I would guess it is because Jesus died on a Friday and Friday is good Friday, and then he spent three days in hell and then was risen from the dead on Sunday. And so I think, just in honor of Jesus's sacrifice, I think we don't eat meat and like to me that's a little bit of like, how did we get from A to B? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, but then it's like Jesus said right.
Speaker 1:And Jesus said at the last supper though like this is the flesh of my body, this is the blood of my body to be given up for you, and so maybe, like there's a correlation, I bet if we looked in some sort of like you know, exegesis lexicon, something like that, we could find that people correlated eating meat with the Eucharist, with Jesus, with the Last Supper and Good Friday. That's my best educated guess.
Speaker 3:A very quick Google search shows yeah, abstaining from meat on Fridays to commemorate Jesus' crucifixion. The no meat rule on Fridays because it's not considered warm-blooded flesh, warm-blooded flesh like other animals, flesh.
Speaker 1:So we could eat snakes.
Speaker 2:I'm going to have cold-blooded flesh.
Speaker 1:So reptiles, fish, reptiles Crust, crustaceans, shellfish I'm going to have shrimp on Fridays.
Speaker 2:Okay, can we talk about, uh, unpopular opinions on things? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I love an unpopular opinion. This is not going to set well with a lot of people and I would like to be clear. This is not judgment. This is my opinion. This is I'm not choosing to judge this person, but I don't get the whole wicked thing Right, and here's what I mean. I love wizard of Oz, I love the play wicked. What I don't get is and I saw the movie, it was very long I feel like Ariana Grande is stuck in her body and asking to get out. Does anyone else feel that way?
Speaker 1:Huh, well, no, and I want to hear that's a very powerful, powerful statement. She is stuck in her body and wants to get out.
Speaker 2:I watched Oscar parts of the Oscars, right, and when I see them you know they opened the Oscars with one of the songs from Wicked I'm sure everybody's yelling say what song it is, and I'm not going to, but these giant high notes I can't do. It feels like we're doing like princess Disney or something, and I feel like Ariana Grande, since Wicked, this is how she moves, like she doesn't move her neck it's like she just moves her body with her head maybe she has a fur, uncle she has a fur uncle.
Speaker 1:She had a fur uncle the whole time they were filming. Wicked, that's what it was.
Speaker 2:And it was right under her armpits. It's a chronic fur uncle.
Speaker 1:It's right under her armpits, so she couldn't move her body. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I know that everyone loves wicked, but like there's just something that I'm like, I I don't know it bugs me yeah, I I don't get it and I also like I I always like say and, and I do it to be kind of a little bit funny, self-deprecating, funny, like I don't get cool and so like I like to me it's like I think all the cool people think Wicked is like so great and I'm just not cool. And so I went and saw, when it first came out, like on Broadway, like I went and saw it. Um, well, after it was had been on Broadway and then it came to Nashville, um, I went and saw it there and and I haven't seen this most recent like depiction of it, the movie.
Speaker 1:It's the only one I saw was the movie, or I've seen, yeah, and I haven't seen it at all, which you know, throw potatoes at me or tomatoes at me or whatever. But Whatever?
Speaker 1:just some sort of tater. Yeah, I just don't. It's just not my jam, like it's not, it's not my thing. So I'm with you that it's like, oh, talk about it. It's like, oh, talk about it. It's like, goodness gracious, I think I didn't even watch the Oscars this year. You didn't miss anything. Well, that's what I heard, and then I heard the most. To me, what was the most deplorable news is the winner of Best Actress. Hmm, who was it? It was Mickey Madison for the movie Anora. Did you guys watch this movie?
Speaker 2:Oh, Anora won like a. No, I don't watch any of the Oscar movies, Like I know I should, but it's about sex. Uh, it's about the sex trade, right, it, it it, sure it.
Speaker 1:it is practically like it, like it should not be viewed by anyone under the age of 21.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that would be too hard. And even then it was practically pornographic, like it was just I love seeing you like being like a little bit of a prude.
Speaker 2:Totally, that was pornographic, I mean.
Speaker 1:I love to live in my Scorpio body. I love to live in my my fur uncle infested vulva.
Speaker 2:Like, I'm all for it.
Speaker 1:I'm all for it.
Speaker 3:But like that how many are there?
Speaker 1:Like I couldn't finish it. It really was disturbing to me. I couldn't finish it.
Speaker 2:I watched the Oscars long enough to kind of see a little bit. And I told Sarah I was like I just turned it off, like I never, I don't know, like I don't know, it just is never my thing. I do like award shows but I don't always love the Oscars. Conan was good.
Speaker 1:I will say that Conan was good. I need to go back and look at some highlights that people said were good. You know, because, like I normally do watch all the award shows, like it's the part of the business that we work in, you know, I'm like at least I can do is be educated about that. But it's like this year I was like, didn't like any of the movies, didn't like any of the actors or actresses, just not into it. And I knew that Nora was up for so many awards and I could not fathom it. Like I just was like who thought this movie was good.
Speaker 2:Apparently a lot of people, a lot of people, apparently a lot of people, or at least the people who voted, which we know how that goes. Well, fair enough. Okay, I have a serious question I want to pose on this podcast and I really want you guys to think about this, because I I I've been talking to a friend of mine and we have been kind of challenging each other about the right response when this happens. Okay, I built it up so big, here it is.
Speaker 2:So put yourself in a situation, say, it could be as simple as you're at a meal and your food isn't correctly cooked, or it's the wrong thing that you you didn't order, that it was something else, or something as serious as, like, you're in a you're at a work meeting and someone says something completely inappropriate or who knows it could be, it could be a million things.
Speaker 2:But why don't we speak up in those situations is the question. And I have had this serious conversation with a good friend of mine and we are kind of challenging each other to practice speaking up nice like, like in moments where we'll like we're just now trying it. But I asked chat gpt and I want to share what that is, but I'd rather hear you guys share, like, like, let's go with the second scenario. You're in a situation, group of people, and someone keeps saying something or acting in a way that is just straight up inappropriate. We generally, as people, just keep our mouth shut and let it just play out right, yeah, but there are times where it's truly offensive or it's truly inappropriate.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, Kat. Yeah, I had a conversation with someone about this just late last week. I know that there's a lot of divided opinions about what's going on in our world, especially politically right now, and I read or saw somewhere that Lester Holt, who is my favorite journalist like I love him so much favorite journalist, like I love him so much.
Speaker 1:Um, anyway, lester Holt announced that I think it kind of the end of the spring, beginning of the summer, that he is leaving NBC news. Like he is no longer going to be like our evening news person, who I watch religiously every night, every night at five 30 central. Um, so, um, anyway, somebody said he was leaving and I was like you know that whole idea of like if you knew you were going to die, you know, at X time, like like, live like you were dying. You know there's a big country song, live like you were dying or live like I was dying.
Speaker 1:You know, think I would do is, I think the last time I had to report the evening news and to articulate whatever buffoonery President Trump is doing. I just wish Lester Holt would go tonight in America, mr Trump has decreed that he's going to fire everybody from everywhere and I would just love it if Lester Holt would go. Guys, what the fuck is going on? Like what's going on? And so, like I think your question is like, why don't we do that? Like is it journalistic integrity for him to just report the news? Yeah, you know, and it's like, well, it must be.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And also like there's a reason why he doesn't just have a come apart on screen and I really want him to, and so like. I'm kind of in this thing with you and your friend going like why don't we like, why don't we say something?
Speaker 2:I, I don't know, I, I really didn't know, like I was like, are we afraid of being, you know, on the other side of someone? Are we afraid of and here's what chat GPT said you guys, which, of course, is always the place we should go to instead of asking our inner selves what's?
Speaker 3:going on, and then I want to know what your prompt was, cause that's just as important.
Speaker 2:Okay, my prompt was why is it so hard for us to say something when someone says or acts inappropriately? And then I said any ideas how to manage that? That was my last part of my prompt. Great, I love that. Okay, here's what it said. You guys, I'm going to share the screen because, kat, you can help me read this. All right, that's such a powerful and important question, moose, and one that so many people struggle with. There are a few layers to why it is so hard to speak up when someone says or does something inappropriate. Number one fear of conflict or rejection, of course. I mean, that's the problem with all of our issues, kat.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's my number one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's my number one. Yeah, yeah, me too. Many of us were raised to avoid confrontation, especially if we were taught to be nice or not rock the boat. There's often a fear that speaking up will make things worse, that we'll be seen as difficult, sensitive or overreacting.
Speaker 1:Especially if you're a woman. Yeah, exactly, go ahead, kat. Number two is the power imbalance. If the inappropriate comment comes from someone in authority, like a boss, elder family member or someone with social power, the risk feels higher. In those moments we calculate is it worth it, and the fear of consequence can silence us. Number three shock and freeze response. This is a nervous system response that we're all familiar with. Sometimes the behavior is so unexpected that our brains literally freeze. We're processing what just happened and by the time we're ready to respond, the moment has passed. This is part of the fight flight, freeze or fawn response. Many of us default to fawn, trying to smooth it over or minimize discomfort.
Speaker 2:That is so true. I do feel frozen sometimes, like, especially if somebody says something that is like straight up racist or something Like I literally am like what do I do with my hands? I literally don't know what to do here.
Speaker 3:After hearing that one, I think that's probably my first response in this situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, number four cultural conditioning. In some cultures there's a deep emphasis on respecting elders, keeping harmony or protecting group image. Speaking up can feel like betraying those unspoken rules, groups. There's often an added layer of being socialized or sorry of being socialized to prioritize others comfort over their own safety or dignity. So then I was like, okay, I basically said what do I do and can you give me some examples? But it's really cool here because it basically says prepare scripts in advance and this is what me and my friend were talking about is like practicing. It's easier to speak up if you've rehearsed a few responses for those situations. Examples would be that's not okay with me. I don't find that funny. Or can we pause for a second? I need to say that what you just said doesn't sit well with me. I like that one.
Speaker 1:Number two take a beat. If you freeze in the moment, that's okay, you can circle back. Hey, I've been thinking about what you said earlier and I need to tell you that it didn't feel right to me. Three use your body as a signal. You know this one's going to be my favorite, yep. Sometimes even shifting your posture, sitting up straighter, making direct eye contact, helps you tap into your sense of agency. Four know your why. If you connect to why. Speaking up matters for you for example, standing up for yourself, modeling behavior for your kids or disrupting harmful norms it can give you courage in the moment.
Speaker 2:Five Moose Five practice with low-stakes situations. Start small. If someone cuts in line, say something mildly offensive oh, I thought they were saying to say something mildly offensive.
Speaker 1:Someone cuts in line and you're supposed to say fuck you.
Speaker 2:That's a great response. Okay, if someone cuts in line or says something mildly offensive or interrupts, you practice asserting yourself there.
Speaker 3:It builds the muscle. That's a good idea, yeah.
Speaker 2:Six have a support system. Sometimes we don't speak up because we feel alone. Knowing you have a person or group who will validate you after the fact can help make speaking up feel less scary, yeah.
Speaker 3:Huge, yeah, I. I love number five, the practice part, because that's something I've been trying, like what we were talking about when we first started the episode of just like I, whatever reason that's not getting me out of the house or afraid to do the thing, realizing other people are in it in that same headspace, but then practicing whatever practice, responding practice, not responding practice, seeing yourself, you know, and it's like, if you, no one knows you're doing that, it's.
Speaker 2:It's like your own personal practice. Well, I think that's what changes your paths in your brain too, right, it's like oh, this time I actually am going to speak up, or I'm really big on the body language. I have noticed that I either freeze, I say wow, which is probably passive, aggressive, or I stand up and walk away Wow, yeah, mainly because the energy in my body is so strong that I'm like I need to create action.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that totally makes sense, and I think our individual responses are fascinating. And I was thinking about I have so many people in my life who are so good at saying something.
Speaker 2:I know, and they're great models for us.
Speaker 1:They're great models and I'm like, why do I attract these people? And it's like it makes me wonder if it's because, like it's a I don't want to say a deficiency, but it's something that I am more, am more like take it in, absorb it, process it, think about it, make a nine page monologue about how to deal with it, and then maybe say something. You know, it's like I don't, I don't just start with like yeah, no, I'm not okay with that. You know, and I have so many people in my life who are so good at that and and I just I, I I admire them so much because they get what they want Like 10 times out of 10, I feel like these people in my life that I'm thinking of, like they have an existence that suits them quite nicely.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, because, honestly, part of this is creating boundaries, so people don't treat honestly. Part of this is creating boundaries, so people don't treat you in a way where you feel inappropriate.
Speaker 2:Like so many times we're like wait a minute, I just let it slide. I let something slide because maybe I took it wrong or whatever, and it's like now. Granted, we can be triggered by things, and I want to be clear. Back to clean pain and dirty pain that we've talked about before, where clean pain is the facts of things and dirty pain are what we make it mean. Like that's important too to be aware of, cause there are times when people will say something and our shit from our past can go oh, they're being, you know this way, so you do have to step away.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying we don't need to reflect, I'm just saying how do we reflect? And then, like they said, even come back and say, hey, I just want to be honest, like that actually is offensive what you said, or that really bothered me the way you said that, and not to just make a point, I think relational people like you cat have harder time doing that. Like I'm relational, but not to the level I think, as are like two, threes and fours are on the Enneagram and so, like, for me, I'm, like I, I feel like a little bit more, like okay, I'm, I'm willing to take the hit if that messes up a relationship, but also I freeze most of the time.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think what you said is really poignant it's like I'm I'm not going to say something quote, unquote to preserve the relationship, when in reality, if I want the relationship to be safe, I need to say something.
Speaker 1:That's right, that's absolutely right, you know, and it's like okay, so like I'm going to sit here and like self-soothe and not say anything and be a people pleaser and be like, well, maybe they went this and maybe they went that, and it's like that's that's not really good either. So I would like to join your um, your campaign, your marathon of saying something when, when something needs to be said, um, to just begin working that muscle. And you know what, it's not going to always be pretty, it's not going to look good, you know it's going to be hard, and at the same time, it's like we can just go like hey, I just have to ask for grace that I'm working through how to deal with this in my own life and and unfortunate for you, you just said a thing that really was inappropriate to me and I'm going to flex my muscle and do something about it and see if I die. And if I don't die, then maybe I'm going to have still alive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, then I'm still alive and that muscle is still being built.
Speaker 2:So I love that cat. I think let everybody listening. Let's pay attention this week to things that don't sit right with us. You don't have to say something right away, but reflect on maybe next time what you could do to say something.
Speaker 1:And I think it's a really good time, moose, for you to bring up something like this, because we are moving from one season to another. Right now we are moving from the season of winter, which is, you know, characterized by dark, black or blue, cold, hibernation, resting, quiet, dark. It's all the yin. Winter is very yin season and spring is a very yang season. It's like the new young, the new energy is rising, like all the energy happening in the earth to help the seeds turn into the stalk that turns into the flower, and all the feelings in our body of like I want to get out and do things and I want to exercise and, wow, the weather's nice. Like this past week I got a dumpster that I emptied my whole shed into and it felt like such good spring energy to just get it out. Like purge.
Speaker 1:And spring is also associated with frustration and anger. Oh good, because my anger's been flying Right. It is, it is time, it is time. So, like the meteorological spring is March, april, may, so we're in the meteorological spring right now. March, april, may. So we're in the meteorological spring right now. The actual spring equinox I think it is the spring equinox um marks the moment when the sun sits directly over the earth's equator um as it heads northward, and that's on March, the 20th of this year.
Speaker 1:So I just want to say like yeah, if you're feeling that spring energy rising up, think about ways to channel that. And maybe a way to channel that is to go. Hey, I'm not okay with that. Hey, I'm gonna I'm gonna challenge that thing you know, and so if you feel those spring energies rising up, check them and then also go like I'm gonna, I'm gonna burst into a, I'm going to turn into a tulip.
Speaker 2:I love it. I love a tulip, by the way, Me too. Sarah was just pointing out all the little blooms that are coming up on a. Is it a lilac plant? You know our little lilac bush out there.
Speaker 3:Every year it's getting like bigger, you know, more prominent and like. Not only do I see little leaves coming out, but I see little blooms about like everywhere, which I've maybe only seen like 30 little blooms and I think the whole thing is going to go crazy this year.
Speaker 1:Well, I was so excited when I think you talked about it last week or the week before that you were a little bit worried about it blooming so early. Yeah, because there's always. You know, come the end of March there's like it's going to be 12 degrees outside, you know, and I just hope that that gives your lilac even more spring energy to just I hope so too.
Speaker 2:I just want to say I feel like Kat needs to give us a weekly devotional, like you just gave us, with all that energy, yeah, about the, the energy, yeah, uh, about the the seasons. Okay, like, give us a little something that we could take with us every single week, cause I love that, like that. I believe that nature is a reflection of us and vice versa. I feel like we are a reflection of nature is what I'm trying to say, and so I love recognizing. I don't always think of that like oh, but I do know that, um, daylight savings time is going to be over in a week and I am so happy about that.
Speaker 1:Oh, I am so thrilled I can finally start driving at night again. Like I, I really I hate driving at night because of my, my vision challenges, my vision specialness, um, specialization yes, my specialization, certification of vision, Um, and I was thinking the other day I was like I can go out and do nighttime things and drive home at nine o'clock and still be in the daylight. Like I'm so excited.
Speaker 2:So excited I am too. I can't even wait. I have been laying in, uh, my hammock outside in the sunshine when it's been like 60 plus, and just like listening to Sarah Blondin meditations, and I am just taking in the spring because I can feel it coming, it's going to be good.
Speaker 3:It's going to be real good. I've got a great Mardi Gras song to take us out. Oh, take us. I tried to look it up. You know that it's called Aiko Aiko, aiko, aiko, aiko, aiko. Oh yeah, I don't know what it means. Nobody knows what it means, but it's a good one.
Speaker 2:Hey, did you ask Chad GPT?
Speaker 3:I didn't get that far.
Speaker 2:Okay, it says what a fun, infectious song. The basics it comes out of New Orleans culture, specifically rooted in Mardi Gras Indian tradition. The song was very popularized in 1953 by a group called Sugar Boy and His Cane Cutters under the title Giacomo oh, it means here we go, let's do this, thank you. Special thanks to our producer, sarah Reed. To find out more more go to catandmoosepodcastcom. Cat and Moose is a BP production.
